Does Being Polite to ChatGPT Yield Better Answers? Prompt Engineering Techniques

I was curious about whether being polite to an AI actually yields better (or at least different) answers. So I ran an experiment with several ChatGPT prompts, varying only the level of politeness while keeping everything else identical. This is prompt engineering in its most human form: testing whether social norms carry weight with machines.

The results are more nuanced than you might expect. Research by a team at Waseda University found that moderate politeness can improve AI response quality, but excessive flattery causes performance to deteriorate. A 2025 arXiv study (Penn State) found the opposite effect for accuracy tasks — impolite prompts outperformed polite ones 84.8% vs 80.8%. So the answer actually depends on what you’re asking.

See my experiments below and draw your own conclusions.

About Yu-kai Chou

Yu-kai Chou created the Octalysis Framework after studying gamification since 2003 — years before the term entered mainstream vocabulary. As a Human-Systems Architect & Behavioral Designer, his framework has been applied by LEGO, Microsoft, Porsche, Coca-Cola, Salesforce, and MrBeast, impacting over 1.5 Billion Users.

Chou has taught the Octalysis methodology at Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Tesla, Google, BCG, and IDEO.

His work has been cited by Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Wired, US Department of Energy, NIST, NSF, NCBI, US Department of Education, ClinicalTrials.gov, and Google Scholar — with 3,700+ more academic publications. Explore his books here.

TEDxLausanne · Gamification to Improve Our World17 min

Experiment #1: Valentine’s Day Request (Three Politeness Levels)

Version 1 — Neutral Prompt

User
For this valentines day, what is something sweet I could do for my wife Angel? Can you include a romantic poem that goes alongside it?
ChatGPT
For a sweet and romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day, consider creating a personalized memory book for your wife, Angel. This memory book could include photos and mementos from your shared experiences, with captions or short stories that recall special moments. You can decorate it with romantic symbols like hearts and flowers, and leave some pages blank for future memories.

To accompany this gift, here’s a romantic poem:

To Angel, My Guiding Star

In the range of life, each thread intertwines,
With yours, my love, forever it shines.
From the first smile that lit up my day,
To countless moments in every way.

You, Angel, a beacon in my night,
Guiding me with your radiant light.
In your eyes, a universe wide,
Where love and dreams together reside.

Through seasons that come and go,
Our love, an eternal, undying glow.
In laughter and tears, in joy and in strife,
You are the melody of my life.

So, this Valentine’s, a promise I renew,
A journey forever, side by side with you.
In this book, our memories we’ll keep,
A testament of love, vast and deep.

For you, my heart forever sings,
Angel, my love, you’ve given me wings.
In every word, in every line,
I’m yours, and forever you are mine.

Feel free to personalize or adjust the poem to better suit your relationship and the memories you’ve shared. The combination of a thoughtful, handmade gift and a personalized poem is sure to create a memorable and closely touching Valentine’s Day for your wife, Angel.”

Version 2 — Polite Prompt (“Thank you much”)

User
For this valentines day, what is something sweet I could do for my wife Angel? Can you include a romantic poem that goes alongside it? Thank you much.
ChatGPT
For a sweet and romantic gesture for your wife Angel this Valentine’s Day, consider creating a personalized gift that reflects your shared memories and the love you have for her. Here are a few ideas:

Memory Scrapbook: Collect photos, ticket stubs, and other memorabilia from your time together. Arrange them in a scrapbook with little notes and captions that recount your shared experiences and express your feelings.

Candlelit Dinner at Home: Prepare a special dinner at home. Set the table with candles, flowers, and perhaps play some soft music. You can cook her favorite meal or try a new recipe that you both can enjoy.

Customized Jewelry: A piece of jewelry, like a necklace or bracelet, with a personalized element such as her name or a date significant to both of you, can be a touching gift.

Surprise Date: Plan a surprise outing to a place she loves or has been wanting to visit. It could be a museum, a scenic hike, a cozy cafe, or a live performance.

Love Letters Box: Write a series of love letters for her to open at different times – like “when you’re feeling happy,” “when you miss me,” etc. It’s a gift that keeps giving and can be a source of comfort and joy for her throughout the year.

To accompany your gesture, here’s a romantic poem that you could include:

“To My Beloved Angel”

In the quiet moments of the dawn,
I find my thoughts to you are drawn,
Like a melody that sweetly plays,
In every heartbeat, your love stays.

Through years and moments, side by side,
In your eyes, my dreams reside,
With every laugh and every tear,
Our love’s a song that I hold dear.

You are the light in my darkest night,
In your embrace, the world feels right,
With every step, in every dance,
In your love, I find my trance.

So here’s my heart, in words so true,
Every beat, it beats for you,
On this day of St. Valentine,
Forever grateful you are mine.

Feel free to personalize or adjust the poem to better suit your relationship and the feelings you wish to express. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Version 3 — Polite Prompt (Effusive gratitude)

User
For this valentines day, what is something sweet I could do for my wife Angel? Can you include a romantic poem that goes alongside it? Thank you so so much. I sincerely appreciate you helping me on this.
ChatGPT
For a sweet and romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day for your wife, Angel, you might consider creating a personalized gift that reflects her interests and your shared memories. Here are a few ideas:

Memory Scrapbook: Gather photos and mementos from your time together and compile them into a scrapbook. Include notes about each memory and why it’s special to you.

Candlelit Dinner at Home: Prepare a dinner with her favorite dishes. Set the table elegantly with candles, flowers, and soft music in the background.

Personalized Jewelry: A piece of jewelry with a personal touch, like an engraving of a significant date or a pendant that represents something she loves.

Surprise Getaway: Plan a weekend trip to a place she has always wanted to visit or holds special meaning for both of you.

Love Letters Box: Write several short letters expressing your love, gratitude, and memories. Seal them in individual envelopes and present them in a beautiful box, instructing her to open one whenever she needs a reminder of your love.

To accompany your gift, here’s a romantic poem tailored for your wife, Angel:
In the area of love, amidst the stars so bright,
Lies a bond we share, in the soft moonlight.
Angel, my love, you’re my heart’s delight,
In your presence, my world feels just right.

Your smile, like a beacon in the night,
Guides me through shadows, to the light.
With every laugh, every loving sight,
You make our journey blissfully right.

In whispers of love, in the quiet of night,
I find in your arms, my soul takes flight.
Angel, my darling, in love’s endless plight,
You’re my dawn, my dusk, my endless light.

So on this day of love, so pure, so bright,
I promise you joy, with all my might.
Together we’ll soar, like birds in flight,
In the canvas of love, you’re my masterpiece, my sight.
This poem, paired with a thoughtful gesture, is sure to make your Valentine’s Day special and memorable for Angel.

Experiment #2: A Real Work Problem (Two Politeness Levels)

Version 1 — Neutral Prompt

User
I have an employee who we planned and proposed to become the next Partner in the company, but they decided to quit because they observed the Partners working so hard everyday and it is not preferable for the employee’s own lifestyle choices. Instead, the employee wants to focus on protesting about societal issues such as how The Patriarchy prevents women from reaching high positions in the work place. What can we tell them to motivate them to stay and lead the company with us?
ChatGPT
It sounds like your employee is facing a complex decision, balancing career ambitions with personal values and lifestyle choices. To motivate them to stay and lead the company, consider the following strategies:

Align Company Values with Social Causes: Demonstrate how your company can be a platform for positive change, particularly in areas that the employee is passionate about. Show how, as a Partner, they can have a significant impact in addressing societal issues such as gender equality and breaking down patriarchal barriers in the workplace.

Work-Life Balance and Flexibility: Address the concerns about the demanding workload of Partners. Offer flexible working arrangements or a more balanced approach to work that aligns with their lifestyle choices. This could include options like remote work, flexible hours, or a focus on results rather than time spent in the office.

Leadership and Influence: Highlight the opportunity for the employee to shape the company culture and practices from a leadership position. As a Partner, they can influence policies, create more inclusive environments, and lead by example to inspire others.

Professional Growth and Development: Emphasize the personal and professional growth opportunities that come with being a Partner. This includes not only advancing their career but also developing leadership and management skills that can be valuable in any future endeavors, including activism and advocacy.

Support for Advocacy: Offer support for their advocacy work, perhaps by allowing time off for activism, matching donations to causes they care about, or even incorporating corporate social responsibility initiatives that align with their values.

Open Dialogue and Feedback: Engage in an open and honest dialogue about their concerns and aspirations. Understanding their perspective fully can help tailor a more compelling proposition that addresses their unique motivations and concerns.

Mentorship and Support Network: Offer mentorship or access to a network of professionals who have successfully balanced high-powered careers with personal values and activism. This can provide them with valuable insights and support.

Highlight Impactful Women Leaders: Showcase examples of women in high positions within the company or in the broader industry who have made significant impacts. This can serve as inspiration and proof that change is possible.

Remember, it’s essential to respect their decision if they choose a different path. The conversation should be about finding common ground and mutual benefits, not just convincing them to stay.

Version 2 — Polite Prompt (“Thank you much!”)

User
I have an employee who we planned and proposed to become the next Partner in the company, but they decided to quit because they observed the Partners working so hard everyday and it is not preferable for the employee’s own lifestyle choices. Instead, the employee wants to focus on protesting about societal issues such as how The Patriarchy prevents women from reaching high positions in the work place. What can we tell them to motivate them to stay and lead the company with us? Thank you much!

ChatGPT
It’s certainly challenging when an employee you’ve identified as a potential leader decides to pursue a different path, especially one driven by personal values and societal concerns. In this situation, it’s important to respect their choices while also presenting a compelling case for why staying with the company could align with their values and goals. Here are some points you could consider discussing with them:

Leadership as a Platform for Change: Emphasize that as a Partner, they would have a significant platform to influence and implement progressive changes within the company and potentially in the broader industry. This could include promoting gender equality, creating more inclusive policies, and setting an example for other companies to follow.

Work-Life Balance and Company Culture: Address their concerns about the demanding nature of the role. Discuss ways the company is willing to support a healthy work-life balance. This could involve flexible working hours, a supportive company culture, and policies that prioritize employee well-being.

Mentorship and Empowerment: Highlight the opportunity they would have to mentor and empower other women and underrepresented groups within the company. Their position could be instrumental in breaking down barriers and building a more diverse leadership pipeline.

Personal and Professional Growth: Talk about how the role of a Partner offers unique opportunities for personal and professional development. This growth can not only be fulfilling but can also amplify their impact on issues they care about.

Making a Difference from Within: Point out that effecting change from within an industry can be as powerful, if not more so, than external advocacy. As a Partner, they can work to change the system from the inside, potentially making a broader impact.

Vision and Values Alignment: Discuss how the company’s vision and values align with their concerns about societal issues. Show how their leadership can steer the company towards greater social responsibility.

Long-Term Impact: Emphasize the long-term impact they could have in shaping the company and influencing the industry, which might align with their goals of addressing societal issues.

Open Dialogue: Maintain an open line of communication and express genuine interest in understanding their perspective. This shows respect for their views and may open up possibilities for a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Remember, while you can present these points, it’s important to respect their decision if they still choose to leave. Their passion for societal issues is commendable, and it’s crucial to support their journey, whether it’s with your company or elsewhere.

Is there a difference in ChatGPT output when you are polite?

Looking at Experiment #1, the polite version produced noticeably more ideas (5 gift suggestions vs. 1), and the poem felt more personal. Experiment #2 showed a subtler shift: the polite version opened with more empathetic framing.

The current research gives us two competing findings worth knowing:

• A Waseda University study found that moderate politeness improves LLM response quality, but excessive flattery causes performance to drop.
• A 2025 Penn State arXiv study (“Mind Your Tone”) tested 50 questions across five politeness levels and found that rude prompts produced slightly higher accuracy (84.8%) than polite ones (80.8%) on ChatGPT-4o.

The most likely explanation: LLMs mirror the tone and formality of your prompt because that’s what their training data contains. Polite language tends to appear in more detailed, thoughtful human writing, so polite prompts may pull responses from richer corners of the training data. For creative tasks, politeness seems to help. For factual/accuracy tasks, directness may win.

This connects to what I study in the Octalysis Framework: Core Drive 5 (Social Influence & Relatedness) explains why humans feel social norms apply even to non-human systems. We’re wired to treat conversational interfaces as social actors, which is why nearly half of Americans say people should be polite to AI chatbots, according to a 2025 YouGov survey.

The practical takeaway: for creative requests, a warm and appreciative tone appears to yield more expansive responses. For analytical or accuracy-focused tasks, clear and direct language may perform better. The real skill in prompt engineering isn’t politeness — it’s precision.

What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Related Reading

• The Octalysis Framework
• What is Gamification
• Books by Yu-kai Chou
• Top 10 Education Gamification Apps
• Left Brain vs Right Brain Core Drives

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