Who should you network and build Allies with?
⚡ Speed Run Notes
- Most people network with whoever is already in the room. That's not networking — that's bumping into people. Deliberate alliance building selects people based on criteria set before entering the room. The room is the source; the criteria are the filter.
- The right allies are people whose trajectory complements yours, not whose position impresses you. A rising star 5 years behind you is a better ally than a plateaued legend 20 years ahead. Trajectory compounds; position is a snapshot. Invest in the compound.
- CD5 (Social Influence) networking built on transactional logic fails; networking built on genuine care compounds. Transactional networking burns out in 2 years as people realize they're being used. Care-based networking compounds over decades. The math is clear, but the temptation to be transactional is constant.
- Diversity of allies is a risk management strategy. If all your allies work in the same field, a downturn in that field takes everyone at once. Diversified alliances survive industry shocks. The diversification is boring advice until the shock arrives.
- The deepest insight: an ally is someone whose success you actively invest in without expectation of return. The return comes anyway. People notice who invests in them. The investment is not wasted because even the non-responders join the silent chorus of people who respect you. That chorus is the real network.
Table of Contents
Author Credibility: Yu-kai Chou
Yu-kai Chou created the Octalysis Framework after studying gamification since 2003 — years before the term entered mainstream vocabulary. As a Human-Systems Architect & Behavioral Designer, his framework has been applied by LEGO, Microsoft, Porsche, Coca-Cola, Salesforce, and MrBeast, impacting over 1.5 Billion Users.
Chou has taught the Octalysis methodology at Harvard, Stanford, Yale, Tesla, Google, BCG, and IDEO.
His work has been cited by Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Wired, US Department of Energy, NIST, NSF, NCBI, US Department of Education, ClinicalTrials.gov, and Google Scholar — with 3,700+ more academic publications. Explore his books here.
Who are your Allies in your 10K HP Journey?
Networking is critical to success. Too often, we limit our connections to specific groups or events, missing valuable opportunities all around us.
Every person you meet has unique experiences and knowledge: the barista, the mailman, the mechanic.
Treat each as a potential ally, not just a transaction. This is both smart strategy and a way to respect human diversity.
In this post, I’ll explore how to network beyond LinkedIn and industry events.
I’ll show you why every single person in your life is worth connecting with, and how that expands your opportunities. This is part of 10K HP Step 5: Build Your Alliance.
Your Existing Contacts: Friends and Family
Friends and family form your core network. They’re people who’ve walked your journey, shared your milestones, and want you to succeed.
But here’s the key: networking isn’t just collecting names. It’s maintaining the relationships you already have.
Start by keeping contact information current. Think of all the people from your past: childhood friends, high school buddies, college classmates.
Each has unique knowledge and networks you don’t have. Staying in touch means you don’t lose those bridges.
The next step is simple: reach out occasionally. A friendly email or call once a year shows you care.
You don’t need long, deep conversations. Just let them know you’re still around.
When you do connect, follow the networking values we discussed earlier. Make people feel like they can count on you.
Offer help without expecting immediate return. That builds real relationships, not transactional ones.
With family, it’s easy to take support for granted and only reach out when you need something.
But real family ties require constant investment. Be the person who shows up by choice, not just when you want something.
In the Work Environment: Coworkers, Superiors and Janitors
The workplace has hundreds of people. But most of us only interact closely with 10 or so.
Stop seeing people as just “the person in the next cubicle.” They’re humans with value.
Treat everyone the same way: coworkers, bosses, janitors. A real smile and warm greeting costs nothing and means everything.
With superiors: be confident, approachable, and own your mistakes.
With subordinates: show empathy and admit faults. Leaders who can say “I was wrong” earn more respect.
Excel at your current role. Don’t resent your responsibilities. Master them.
Ask for more work to show you’re serious. Your attitude matters more than your title.
With peers, be real. Show your actual work ethic, not a fake persona for climbing ladders.
If you help peers succeed, they won’t see you as a threat. They’ll see you as someone with integrity.
Remember: supporting coworkers who might even surpass you builds loyalty.
That superior who sees you lift others up? They’ll recommend you for opportunities.
Over time, you reach your goals surrounded by positive relationships.
Don’t overlook roles like janitor, cleaner, or security guard. These people have networks, knowledge, and opportunities.
A sincere interaction with them can open unexpected doors. This connects to Core Drive 5: Social Influence & Relatedness in the Octalysis Framework: people who feel valued by you become your strongest allies.
Random Networking
The library, the elevator, waiting for a bus: these are networking moments.
Spontaneous connections can spark great opportunities.
You don’t need a prepared pitch. Start simple: comment on the weather, the book someone’s reading, or the long line.
There’s no risk here. The worst someone says is “not interested,” which happens to everyone.
Once you’ve broken the ice, introduce yourself with a smile and handshake. Have a light conversation about their life or share about yours.
Keep it natural.
If the interaction felt good, suggest staying connected. A simple “It’s been great meeting you. Can we exchange contact info? I’d love to hear how your project goes” works perfectly.
Most people will agree. Add them to your network: LinkedIn, your phone, a spreadsheet, whatever system works for you.
After the conversation, drop them a quick note saying how much you enjoyed meeting them.
Many successful partnerships started with random conversations. Confidence and warmth matter. Stay approachable.
Professional Events
Professional events gather people who actually want to network. These are your best bets for meaningful connections.
Bring business cards. Be proactive.
Don’t approach everyone. Instead, aim for a few solid conversations that last 3-5 minutes each. You can follow up with them later by email.
Be confident but not arrogant. Show real interest in what others have accomplished.
Most people appreciate real acknowledgment of their work.
At speaker events, network before the talk starts. Sit next to your new contact during the presentation.
After, approach the speaker, thank them, and ask for their card. Most speakers are open because they’re there to expand their network too.
A few days later, send follow-ups. Keep them brief: mention who you are, reference something specific (especially for the speaker), and say you’d like to stay connected.
Don’t expect instant replies. If the connection matters, send a second email after 2-3 weeks.
Persistence plus sincerity often gets responses.
Conclusion for 10K HP Step 5: Build Your Alliance
Networking isn’t about who you know. It’s about who you grow with.
Every person in your life is a potential mentor, collaborator, or supporter with something to teach you.
Mastering networking opens doors to uncommon success. It also makes success sweeter, because you share it.
Challenges are easier when faced together.
Build your alliance. It’s the fastest path to mastering your life’s game.
Related Reading
- Networking: How to Build Alliances in Your 10K HP Journey
- Networking: Finding the Common Interest
- 10K HP Step 5: Build Your Network
- The Octalysis Framework for Gamification & Behavioral Design
- How to Become Irreplaceable in Your Company
- Books by Yu-kai Chou